As Shirley Brown, Child and Family Services Division administrator for the Montana Department of Public Health and Human Services, notes in her guest column in the Missoulian, April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month and the May is Foster Parent Appreciation Month.

It’s a fitting sequence, as child abuse is usually followed by foster care – or at least it is when the system works as it should.

Throughout the next two months, Missoula and other communities in western Montana will be home to a number of events meant to raise awareness and deepen the pool of understanding about child abuse and foster care, as Brown mentioned in her column.

One event I’d like to highlight in particular is being organized by a group of social work students at the University of Montana and is scheduled, I believe, for April 27 at Meadowview Community Church. The lineup of speakers includes a pair of foster parents and their foster child, Bill Neaves of the Dan Fox Foster Care and Adoption Program at Youth Homes, two professors from the university and Missoula Mayor John Engen.

I’ll post more details as they become available.

- MM

No Comments »

The folks at Youth Homes’ Dan Fox Family Care program recently put together a stirring yet short documentary aimed at encouraging more people to consider becoming foster or adoptive parents. It’s worth 10 minutes of your time. Check out the video below or go to the Dan Fox Web site for more information.

- MM

No Comments »

When my daughter wants something, she really, really wants it. And right now, she wants snow for Christmas.

I can’t blame her. I grew up in Alaska, where I had more than my fill of cold and darkness. Winter is just no fun without snow for sledding, building forts and rolling up into snowmen.

Several months back, while attempting to explain the seasons in a way a 5-year-old might understand, I told Willow that once the leaves fell from the trees, it would be Halloween, and once the snow fell, it would be Christmas. How was I to know that this year, the weather would make a total liar out of me?

So far, what little snow we’ve gotten at our house hasn’t stuck, leaving my little girl wondering if Christmas will ever arrive. Lately, she’s taken to asking if she can have snow for a present.

I did try to gently explain that I’m not in charge of snow, but the result was for Willow to reveal her backup request: a brother. For Christmas.

As I’ve mentioned on this blog before, my husband and I have gone through the adoption application process and are now waiting to be matched up with a child – a wait that looks like it will stretch into next year due to the fact that we do not yet have a bedroom in which to put the kid.

My daughter knows all about this, but over the months has become increasingly convinced that a brother will be arriving at our house any day now. No, not just any sibling will do. She MUST have a brother. And now, she would really like that brother to be in our house on Christmas.

Right now, the chances of either snow or a brother arriving by Christmas look about equally likely – and neither one of them up to me.

I really miss the days when all she wanted for Christmas was Play-Doh.

- MM

4 Comments »

Over in Helena, a man by the name of John Joyce recently formalized the adoption of his second son. I’m sure this will be a very merry Christmas indeed for this family.

Didn’t know you could be a foster or adoptive parent and not be married? You can. You can also be part of a double-income household, or any number of family arrangements. If that’s what’s standing in the way of you looking into foster care or adoption, let it stand there no longer. Go check out the Dan Fox Foster Care and Adoption Program, which is part of Youth Homes and has offices and staff all over Montana. You may not have a new kiddo in your home for this Christmas, but you could help make next Christmas a very merry one for a child in need of a home.

- MM

No Comments »

Today, Catholic Social Services hosted a get-together for the families of adoption in Missoula. The Missoulian covered it and highlighted the heartwarming experiences of three families who were welcoming three new children into their homes. I also thought it was interesting that Montana Child and Family Services logged 177 adoption in the state in just the past year.

Of course, I’ve got adoption – and foster care, respite care, guide home care, you name it – on the brain these days. I recently joined a committee to help the Dan Fox Foster Care and Adoption Program spread the word about its programs in Missoula. In a nutshell, DFFCAP helps match children age 2 to 18 with the right families for them. And, of course, they are always looking for folks who might make good matches for the kids who are waiting. And there are kids, right here in Missoula, who are waiting.

My husband and I have taken the classes Dan Fox offers and gone through the screening process, and I can say with certainty that the process helps you answer questions you never even knew you had. So if you’re at all interested, set aside what you think you know about adoption and foster care, and give Dan Fox a call at 721-2754.

- MM

No Comments »

The Fifth Annual Adoption Celebration is coming up next week and promises to be quite an event, with Missoula Mayor John Engen attending and KPAX’s Jill Valley hosting. Plus, there will be lunch and free entertainment, and free family portraits for the 10 lucky families who call to schedule an appointment first. (The number to call is 329-1582.)

Catholic Social Services of Montana and the Child and Family Services division of the state Department of Public Health and Human Services are working together to organize the celebration – which will be a very special celebration for two families in particular who will finalize the adoption of a child on that day.

So if you have questions about adoption or want to hang out with others who have experienced adoption in some way, plan on showing up at the MCT Center for the Performing Arts (located at 200 N. Adams St.) on Tuesday, Nov. 17, from 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.

- MM

No Comments »

The big news in Montana today is, of course, the state Supreme Court’s ruling that a woman who helped care for her former partner’s adopted children shares parental rights.

To recap the case: One-half of a lesbian couple adopted two children (because in Montana, it’s illegal for two people of the same sex to marry) and they all shared a household for about 10 years. During that time, they both assumed parental responsibilities.

Then, the couple separated, and that’s when things got complicated. One of the women married (a man) and the other sued for “parental rights to the children and for an interest in the property they shared.”

The case eventually wound its way to the Supreme Court, where one side successfully argued that adults who establish a parent-child relationship have a compelling parental interest in those children.

The legal director for the Montana ACLU calls it “a victory for families in all shapes, sizes and colors.”

On the other side, the only dissenting Supreme Court justice said the ruling meant that “Consequences of geometric proportion will fall in the future upon many fit parents” because “Now, even parents who are fit and capable … are potentially subject to the claims of third parties for rights to their children.”

What say you?

- MM

No Comments »

Right now there are a lot of good kids – too many, in fact – in need of good homes. This story in Sunday’s Missoulian pretty much sums up the situation.

Charlie and I took the series of classes offered through Youth Homes earlier this year, and they were amazing. They answered all of our questions plus many more we hadn’t thought of. I highly recommend them to anyone thinking about fostering or adopting a child – even if you aren’t committed to the idea of fostering or adopting just yet.

You can call Missoula Youth Homes at 721-2704.

- Tyler Christensen

No Comments »