One of the truisms I’ve discovered about motherhood and blogging is that whenever a lot of blog-worthy stuff is happening, that’s when I have the least amount of time to write about it.

So it’s been these last few summer-packed weeks (the first day of Autumn will not arrive until Sept. 23 – and I’m CLINGING to summer ’till then). It’s been a whirlwind of school  shopping, home improvement projects (insulation really does help our household cope with these chilly mornings), surprise visits from out-of-state friends, cookouts, playdates and, most jarringly, kindergarten preparedness.

Kindergarten has brought with it new equipment (backpack, check), new faces, and a new schedule I haven’t yet figured out how to manage. I’m sure we’ll find our routine over the next few weeks – just in time for something new to come along and shake it up again.

In the meantime, thanks to the most recent Middle Ages column from my colleague, Michael Moore, I’m paying particular attention to the part of our routine in which we get plenty of exercise and free play time outdoors immediately before and after school. Now that Willow goes to school within biking distance of our home, I’m determined to bike us there and back every school day, rain or shine. When it snows, we’ll walk.

This takes a lot – LOT – longer than driving or catching the bus, of course, because when kids get outside they get distracted. By newly ripened apples, yellowing leaves, newly spun spiderwebs, chittering squirrels and even unusual looking rocks. But that’s what I love about it.

- MM

The latest news release from the Montana Office of Public Instruction trumpets that “Montana Students Continue to Score Higher than the National Average on ACT Exams.”

That’s the headline of the release; the numbers show that the students of the  graduating class of 2010 in Montana who took the tests scored an average of 22, while the national average was 21.

So … yeah, higher – but not by much.

The release is copied, below.

- MM

Juneau Reports Montana Students Continue to Score Higher than the National Average on ACT Exams

HELENA – Superintendent of Public Instruction Denise Juneau reported today that Montana students continue to best the national average when it comes to ACT scores. Montana’s 2010 graduating class earned an average composite score of 22 compared to the national composite score of 21. The percent of ACT-tested Montana graduates who are ready for college coursework in mathematics, reading, and science is higher compared to five years ago.

“These findings are encouraging,” said Juneau. “They suggest more Montana students are graduating from high school with the academic skills they will need to succeed in college and workforce training programs.”

Among Montana’s ACT-tested 2010 high school graduates, 28 percent met or surpassed all four of ACT’s College Readiness Benchmarks (English, math, reading, and science). That figure is up slightly from 26 % the past four years, suggesting ACT-tested students in the state may be making slight progress in overall college readiness.

Among Montana’s 2010 high school graduates, 58 percent –a total of 6,222 students–took the ACT. Those students continue to perform above the national average in all four subject areas.

“In recent years, the University System has worked with the Office of Public Instruction and hundreds of high school teachers to improve college readiness, resulting in a decline in remediation rates in college composition of 26% between 2005 and 2009,” said Montana Commissioner of Higher Education Sheila Sterns. “Currently, the Office of Public Instruction and our universities working jointly on the Montana Math and Science Teacher Initiative to focus on better teacher preparation and professional development in those key subjects.”

As Montana policy-makers meet during the Legislative session and consider new ideas for improving the career and college readiness of Montana high school students, Juneau’s office will propose allowing all high school juniors to take the ACT test by removing the testing fees students have to pay to participate.
The full report on the condition of college and career readiness in Montana for the class of 2010 can be viewed only here: http://www.act.org/news/data/10/pdf/readiness/CCCR_Montana.pdf?

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Only two weeks to go until the first day of school for Missoula kids.

Like other families, we received a short list of school supplies we are supposed to bring on the first day. For new kindergardeners, like my little girl, the list includes things like a backpack, gym shoes, and an extra change of clothes in addition to the usual crayons and Kleenex.

Sadly, for some families it’s hard enough just to scrape together the basics, let alone big-ticket items like backpacks and shoes. Yesterday, this was in the Missoulian’s “We Care” section:

“Full Circle Counseling Solutions is seeking donations for a Missoula family in need. This single mother is in great need of assistance in providing school clothing and supplies for her 14-year-old son, who will be entering high school.  All family members struggle with mental health issues that limit the mother’s ability to work, and as a result the family experiences significant financial hardship. The family is seeking the following items: pants size 27/30, shirts sizes boys’ XL (14-16) or adult medium, underwear boys’ 14/16 or men’s small, shoes men’s 10-10 ½.  School supplies needed include 12 No. 2 pencils, two glue sticks, white glue, pink eraser, white eraser, package of washable felt markers, scissors, pencil case, 10 pocket folders, package of lined paper, package of plain paper, 10 blue pens, three red pens, ruler, package of pencil crayons; two 1-inch binders, eight subject dividers, scientific calculator, geometry set, pocket dictionary, thesaurus, pencil sharpener, highlighter pens, agenda book/planner, stapler, staple remover.

Donations may include actual items, cash or check that can be mailed to or dropped off at Full Circle Counseling Solutions, 1501 North Ave. W. For questions or additional information, contact Ashley Cox at 529-6543.”

And so was this:

“Child and Family Service Network is serving families that are in need of back-to-school supplies. Gift cards, monetary donations, backpacks, clothing and any school supplies would greatly benefit these families. To make or send donations contact Sara Curtin, 532-9796 or Erica House, 532-9779.”

As we go about rounding up supplies for our families, let’s think about our children’s classmates as well, and help make sure every kid in Missoula is well-prepared for the first day of school.

- MM

First, the warning: There is exactly one month left until Grandparents Day 2010. It falls on September 12 each year; have you made plans to celebrate that special grandparent in your life?

I ask because I don’t remember ever marking the arrival of Grandparents Day in all the years of my life. Not once. You?

It’s obviously not as big as Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, but Grandparents Day has been around since 1978, when President Jimmy Carter signed the first presidential proclamation designating it. Its roots go back even further, though, to 1970, when Marian McQuade launched a campaign to have a special day named just for grandparents.

Why give grandparents special recognition? If you aren’t fortunate enough to have a special grandparent in your life or your kids’ lives, the Census Bureau provides some good reasons.

For one, at last count some 6.4 million grandparents were living with grandchildren younger than age 18. Sadly, 19 percent – or about 493,000 – grandparents listed incomes below the poverty level.

Surely these folks are worth a little national recognition. This year, don’t forget Grandparents Day! Be prepared! And don’t say you weren’t warned it was coming up!

- MM

Kate calls me regularly to vent. She rants to me from her kitchen while Skype allows me the visual thrashing of her arms and gnashing of her teeth. My daughter’s life, like most of ours, is stressful. She has just begun a new school year in a classroom brimming with hopeful and hopelessly dependent first graders, and on top of that she and her husband bought a new lab puppy over the summer. I tell her that no amount of Prilosec is going to assuage the acid reflux she suffers as long as she cannot quiet her mind.

We discuss how, in fact, medical science has determined that one cannot separate mental and emotional health from physical well-being. Each of us has suffered the bodily reaction to stress, for instance; most everyone has felt her heart race while enduring a panic attack running late to an important meeting at work or a promise to a small child waiting on the curb. She understands it while racing home during her meager lunch hour to let little Abby out of her crate or when facing a parent whose child cannot control himself in the classroom.

Feed the soul, not just the body, I admonish her. Find a church. Say your prayers. She agrees that whenever she attends Sunday church services, her soul is refreshed; her balance is restored. I concur and I emphasize equilibrium, because as both my daughters will aver, ahem, I tend to go a bit overboard on the nutritional and require intervention. I’ve passed this penchant on to poor Kate, who spends half her life in search of the healthiest meals. Greens, grains, and grams of fat – you name it, I am rather obsessively checking labels and compulsively reading recent developments in health journals that fill my e-mail box. She’s not quite that far along, but if I am not careful to censor my conversation, I could drag her there.

My devotion to fiber just might rival religious piety; in fact, both girls have been seen blocking the cereal aisle of the supermarket to prevent my taking more time to peruse ingredients than I ever do the bestseller list at Barnes & Noble. Kate and I adore the sort of oatmeal cookie most people grimace at. When on road trips, we pray for flax seed and oat bran to find their way to small towns. We worship cracked wheat bread that has the consistency of bark – must be biblical, since my favorite option is a brand called Ezekiel 4:9. “Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side.” I don’t know about lying down, but I eat two slices every night with dinner. Is Kate familiar with that verse?

I decided to inform her when I called last Sunday to tell her I’d found a church I preferred to the one her father and I had been attending for two years.

“Wow! That’s great? What makes you like it better?” she inquired after our discussion about the latest cereal combination I’d discovered – power-packed with fiber.

“The moment we walked in it felt like we belong!” I reiterated the interesting sermon, and then detailed every aspect of the format and fellowship we’d enjoyed.

“But what clinched it for me was communion,” I confessed. “It was a huge loaf of really tasty wheat bread, broken into pieces for us to take!” Heavenly.

Kate chuckled, then shot up from the carpet where she’d been doing her exercises while we were chatting. “God’s gone whole grain!”

Amen, sister.

“I wish I could find a church like that,” she added pensively.

“Did you get back in line and go up again?” she cleverly considered, while I regretted not thinking of that myself. No, sadly, I told her, I hadn’t.

There’s always next Sunday – it’s important for my health.

Visit Kathleen Clary Miller’s blog to read other stories.

Families First!, the organization that runs the Children’s Museum in Missoula, has been hard at work planning a new exhibit for the museum: a kids’ grocery store! The new grocery play area will be located toward the front of the museum on West Front Street in downtown Missoula. It’s being sponsored by the Good Food Store, St. Patrick Hospital and the Gallagher Foundation.

To mark the opening of the new exhibit, the Children’s Museum will host a celebration on Sept. 16. More details about the upcoming event will be posted on Missoula Mom as they become available.

- MM

In this weeks’ Nickell’s Bag, Missoulian arts and entertainment journalist extraordinaire Joe Nickell describes how his 3-year-old son landed a role in “Madama Butterfly.”

And thus, a star was born. Break a leg, Julian!

- MM

We moms have been known to repeat ourselves if we think no one heard us the first time. So here I am again, for the second year in a row, complaining about Missoula Parks and Rec’s annual Kidsfest being held at a time when my family can’t attend.

It’s this Thursday from 11:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Admission is free, and a lot of the activities are free, too. There’s music, arts and crafts, a climbing wall, etc. Sounds like a lot of fun, right? Have extra fun for me and my daughter if you go, because like I said, we won’t be able to make it.

Sorry if I sound a little whiney about this. Missoula Parks and Rec does a lot of great stuff for families and puts on other events at other times. This one rankles, though, because it is always planned for a day and time when most parents with jobs outside the home have to be at work.

Last time I spoke to Parks and Rec Director Donna Gaukler about this, she explained that the crowds sharply tapered off after 4 p.m., so it seemed best to end the event before that time. What I suspect, however, is that attendance would sharply rise again after 5 p.m., when a lot of parents would get off of work, go pick up the kids, and head down to Caras Park for some Kidsfest.

It’s worth a try, don’t you think? Next year, pretty pretty please with a cherry on top, move Kidsfest from lunch time to dinner time, and see what happens.

- MM

I take pains to be unfailingly, unflinchingly honest with my daughter (within the bounds of age-appropriateness, of course). She believes what I tell her; then again, being 5 years old, she believes almost anything anyone tells her.

For instance, one of Willow’s friends recently told her that she once caught a mermaid. Willow not only believed it, she wanted a mermaid for her very own.

And so, when she found a chestnut at preschool she brought it home, put it in the biggest bowl we have in the house, and filled it with water. She told her dad and me that it was a mermaid egg, and that it may take some time to hatch. Like, two or three years.

“I don’t think so, honey” I said. I tried to explain that mermaids aren’t real. They are make-believe. Willow wouldn’t hear of it; she continued to insist that her “egg” would one day “hatch.”

That’s when my husband, chuckling, remarked that it would be fun to sneak a goldfish into the bowl when she wasn’t looking.

Thus began the biggest whopper of a story we’ve ever concocted for our daughter.

Yes, I did sneak off to the pet store while Willow was at preschool; found a beautiful blue betta (they are supposed to be hardy); came home and cleaned out the water and put in the fish. Then I left the house, so that when she came home with her dad later on, she could discover that her mermaid egg had hatched.

And I’m happy to report that she went wild when she saw the “mermaid fish.” It really blew her mind that the story she created came true. We rushed out after dinner that night to get a glass tank and betta fish food, and Willow had a lot of fun setting up the fish’s new home. This fish is also her first real pet, her sole responsibility, and she is taking very good care of it. She delights in telling everyone about how her mermaid fish hatched, and we back her up when incredulous adults express skepticism.

I realize that some folks might frown on our encouragement of childhood fantasy and our total disregard for the ethical problems of feeding an impressional young child a total whopper of a lie.  These people probably don’t get visits from the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus.

She named it “Flower.” Welcome home, flower the fish.

- MM

It seems a local mom was asked by a staff member of Currents to breastfeed her child in the bathroom this week. The mom protested, but the staff insisted that she stop breastfeeding in public.

Knowing her rights, the mom complained to Missoula Parks and Rec, which issued a prompt apology and pledged to correct the problem by running staff through training.

The three e-mails copied below should serve as an important reminder to parents to know the laws about breastfeeding in Montana. I know there was a time when I, as a new mom, felt rather meek about stuff like this. Time was, I would have obeyed the lifeguard at Current unquestioningly, and slunk off to the bathroom to nurse my baby. I am so thankful was have moms like Kris Laroche to stand up for all of us.

I also hope the conversation will serve as a reminder to businesses, agencies and organizations – both public and private – to brush up on Montana’s breastfeeding laws as well. It’s not enough just to post a sign in the window declaring your support of breastfeeding. You have to make sure you – and your employees – understand what that means. And that includes making it clear that moms have the right to breastfeed their babies in public places.

- MM

Dear Ms. Kinsey:

I am writing to you to inform you of a discouraging experience at one of the Missoula Parks and Recreation Facilities. Yesterday, July 21, 2010, during a visit to Currents with my two children, I was asked to stop breastfeeding my daughter while we sat in the chairs beside the pool waiting for Recreational swim time to begin. The lifeguard asked me to leave the public area and go to the family bathroom if I wanted to continue. When I asked to speak to her supervisor, the Head Guard came over, introduced himself and repeated the request. He asked that I refrain from breastfeeding except in the bathroom because we were in a City building. Both employees were polite and courteous, however, as I stood there in my bathing suit, with my children at my side, I felt shocked and confused.

If such a policy exists, it contradicts State Law which protects nursing in public in Montana.

According to the website of the National Conference of State Legislatures, Montana has laws with language specifically allowing women to breastfeed in any public or private location, an exempting breastfeeding from public indecency laws (updated March 2010).

Mont. Code Ann. 50-19-501 states that the breastfeeding of any child in any location, public or private, where the mother otherwise has a right to be is legal and cannot be considered a nuisance, indecent exposure, sexual conduct or obscenity.

The Head Guard said that no breastfeeding in public was the “policy” of the Aquatics facilities and that patrons (particularly older gentlemen) had complained in the past and so this policy was to protect their feelings of discomfort. He also said that even infants are not allowed to be changed except in the bathrooms. I was told that, after all, there are families here…Are you kidding me? Can you not see the irony in this?

I request that you change all relevant policies and practices to reflect full and wholehearted support of breastfeeding in ALL of the Recreational facilities, staff training to ensure all employees understand and embrace the policy change, and prominent display of the “We Support Breastfeeding” symbol.

You have the power to make an important and necessary change here. It is time to honor the rights and needs of children and mothers.

Sincerely,

Kris Laroche

Hi Kris,

I apologize for my lifeguard’s statements and can assure you that we have no such policy.  This would be a violation of Montana Law protecting your rights.  We belong and pay dues to the Missoula Breastfeeding Coalition, so thank you for bringing this to my attention.  I will follow up, and do refresher training with staff.

Shirley Kinsey

Recreation Manager

Missoula Parks & Recreation

Tyler, we just wanted to say this:

The staff at Parks and Recreation is committed to making Currents and Splash Montana welcoming, friendly and safe for everyone. Mothers frequently nurse at Currents, Splash Montana and in city parks without any interference. Parks and Recreation fully supports nursing mothers, belongs to the Missoula Breastfeeding Coalition, and makes every effort to comply with state laws protecting nursing mothers and infants.

We deeply regret that Ms. Laroche encountered a staff member who was not fully informed about our department’s support of and the laws protecting nursing mothers, and we appreciate her bringing this issue to our attention.  The incident points out the need for Parks managers to add this issue to their on-going safety and rescue training.  To date, all staff have received refresher training about Section 50-19-501 MCA, about the department’s commitment to nursing mothers and their children and additional training on dealing with complaints from other pool patrons.  We’ll be posting notices that all parks facilities are “breastfeeding friendly.”  Bottom line: Parks and Recreation is committed to supporting families and making parks facilities hospitable to all.

Citizens who would like more information on this issue are invited to contact Recreation Manager Shirley Kinsey at 552-6273 or Parks and Recreation Director Donna Gaukler at 552-6265.

Rebecca Goodrich

Communications Specialist

Missoula Parks and Recreation