Today’s a day for appreciating our friends and families and telling them “thank you for being in my life.”

And that’s all Missoula Mom has to say today.

That, and “Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!”

- MM

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Since my kiddo turned 5 years old last month, I’ve had a reason to carry cash in my pockets: I started giving her an allowance.

It’s a funny word, “allowance.” The first time I handed Willow her $1 and told her she would receive one every Sunday, she wanted to know why. “What’s an allowance?” she asked. Prepared for this question, I told her that she does a lot for this family (she does, too – she’s in charge of feeding the dogs and cat every morning and every night) and that an allowance is money I give her so she can save it or spend it on the things she wants. I also told her I’d be willing to pay for additional chores, but that offer remains unexplored.

So today, I hand her the dollar and she says thanks, then squirrels it away somewhere in her room. Later, I ask her what she plans to do with all her money. “Just look at it,” she says. “It’s nice to look at.”

Well, the point of an allowance is to teach kids financial responsibility, right? When does the lesson kick in? Did I start her too early? Am I missing some crucial step in the allowance education process?

Looks like I’ll be doing some more research on this one at the library.

- MM

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The ACLU has taken up the case of a Ronan woman who says she was denied prescription medication while serving time in jail for traffic violations. The medicine was needed, she says, to keep the effects of drug withdrawal from interfering with her pregnancy and her overall health.

Watch the video and read the story. I’m waiting to hear what the Lake County Detention Facility has to say about its actions. I can’t imagine what justification it would offer for putting pregnant woman and her fetus at risk.

- MM

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This afternoon a relative sent me an e-mail, pretty much out of the blue, asking if I, being in the news business and all, had any idea who would be getting permanent custody of Michael Jackson’s three kids.

For the record, I have no bloomin’ idea.

But I do understand what motivates my relative to ask. She’s got three kids of her own, and I’m sure she has that same question lurking in the back of her head that every parent should – but doesn’t want – to answer: What would happen to your kids if you died?

This is purely a rhetorical exercise, of course. Still, it’s an important one, and one I haven’t yet figured out how to navigate yet. Just how do parents settle the issue of whom gets custody of their children if both of the adults are no longer able to care for them?

I notice that a lot of people automatically turn to the grandparents. But if so, whose – the mom’s or the dad’s? My daughter is close to both her grandmas. How could we decide? And they are both, well, older.

So who? Our friends and neighbors? I would have to wish them good luck wrestling our daughter from the grasp of the grandmas.

I realize this is an incredibly personal decision that each family must arrive at on its own. Which is probably why you see so few articles tackling it. If anyone knows of any good resources on this, send them on to me, would you?

- MM

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Today, Catholic Social Services hosted a get-together for the families of adoption in Missoula. The Missoulian covered it and highlighted the heartwarming experiences of three families who were welcoming three new children into their homes. I also thought it was interesting that Montana Child and Family Services logged 177 adoption in the state in just the past year.

Of course, I’ve got adoption – and foster care, respite care, guide home care, you name it – on the brain these days. I recently joined a committee to help the Dan Fox Foster Care and Adoption Program spread the word about its programs in Missoula. In a nutshell, DFFCAP helps match children age 2 to 18 with the right families for them. And, of course, they are always looking for folks who might make good matches for the kids who are waiting. And there are kids, right here in Missoula, who are waiting.

My husband and I have taken the classes Dan Fox offers and gone through the screening process, and I can say with certainty that the process helps you answer questions you never even knew you had. So if you’re at all interested, set aside what you think you know about adoption and foster care, and give Dan Fox a call at 721-2754.

- MM

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Maybe you’ve stopped by the thrift shop run by Teen Challenge in Missoula, or perhaps ordered a coffee at the Higher Ground espresso stand the nonprofit oversees, and wondered what it is exactly that Teen Challenge does.

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The 2009 Montana Kids Count Data Book info was just unveiled, and as expected, contains some interesting tidbids. Here’s the full text of the news release I just received in my e-mail in box:

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Every parent probably has her own view of how her kids should dress, but until I had a child of my own I never realized just how early the fashion battles can begin.

It turns out they can start in your head pretty much the moment your child is born.

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This week’s Independent carries the ongoing story of certified nurse midwife Jeanne Hebl’s ban from Community Medical Center. The story highlights Nici Holt Cline, writer of the lovely digthischick blog and of an article in the latest issue of Mamalode magazine, which hit Missoula this week.

In response to Community’s decision to roll up the welcome mat on Hebl, who recently opened her own Birth Center, Nici Holt Cline – expecting her second baby girl any day now – met with Community’s chief medical offer and demanded to know why Hebl wouldn’t be allowed in the delivery room with her should she find herself in need of emergency labor and delivery services at the hospital.

The good news is, it seems Cline’s meeting – along with a push from the wider community – encouraged Community to meet with Hebl again. Hopefully, they’ll be able to work something out that everyone can be happy with.

- MM

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Actually, Missoula Mom might be willing to support Saturday sessions – provided that means kids get Mondays off. Mondays are hard.

- MM

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